In my latest weekend trip to celebrate the 96th birthday of my grandma Leona on the family farm near Omaha, Nebraska, my parents and I decided to stop for a little happy hour as we entered Council Bluffs, Iowa at 4:00pm on a Friday afternoon. One of my mom’s best friends from grade school, Cathy, met us for drinks as well! As they were reminiscing about old times growing up on the farm and in Council Bluffs, my eyes naturally drifted toward a tv that was showing a regional final baseball game to qualify for the Little League World Series. One of the pitchers suddenly threw an elite curveball that very much caught the hitter by surprise, almost like he didn’t know the pitcher had that in his arsenal. As the batter dug his cleats into the batter’s box for the next pitch, you could see the perspective change in his approach. The pitcher threw him his best curveball and it certainly took him by surprise and humiliated him, but he got back in the batter’s box and was more fully prepared for what the pitcher had to offer in the rest of the at-bat.
For those of you that don’t know, I suffered a knee injury while más o menos playing soccer with our Finca boys in late March. Unfortunately, the diagnosis called for a two-part surgery back in the US to replace some broken cartilage and clean up the knee a little bit. My first surgery was on August 11th, and I will be able to return to Honduras on August 25th. My second surgery will be in mid-October, and that recovery will be 2-3 months if everything goes according to plan.
Life threw me a curveball, & it was absolutely devastating in the moment! I had just finished three straight immersion trips at the Finca and translated on my first medical brigade in the area, and I was looking forward to an incredible Holy Week with my family in Honduras before spending time with my family in the US during my 3-week vacation. Instead of chasing around my nephews on the beach in Florida, I was stuck hobbling with a straight-leg knee brace and learning that my future surgeries would keep me away from my home in Honduras for several months. The next month or so was a time of deep uncertainty for me, as I tried to discern God’s will for my life, my future at the Finca, and my future health needs.
Even now, I am still feeling the devastating effects of the curveball that life threw at me in the Finca campo on March 27th. I have certainly appreciated and enjoyed the quality time with my family during these two or three weeks back home! We went to the lake as a family. I got to celebrate the 96th birthday of my grandma with all of my extended family members. I have gotten to eat dinner at the kitchen table almost every night with my parents. I had a couple of really awesome nights with my high school and college friends. I have endlessly played silly games with my three young nephews. I have gotten a chance to take a step back, sleep my 8 hours a night, and rest in God’s love and mercy.
However, despite all of the love that I received and all of the quality time that I have gotten to spend with my family members in KCMO, there is undoubtedly a Finca-sized hole in my heart. The Finca has been my home for almost 5 full years, and I truly love the Finca life with my entire heart and soul. Despite all of the laughs and happiness shared with my family here in KC, I have always felt that piece of my heart that hurts so badly to not be able to be in Honduras with my missionary and Finca communities.
& the most scary part for me is thinking that I will have to manage these emotions and the daily heartbreak of not being able to be at the Finca for 2 or 3 months at the end of this year/beginning of next year. If I have struggled so mightily in just 2 or 3 weeks in August, I can’t even begin to imagine the unbearable pain of not being able to be part of the Finca life for 2 or 3 months in October through January.
However, as I think back to my little friend playing baseball on tv, life undoubtedly threw me a nasty, filthy curveball that would be good enough to win a Cy Young award most years in the MLB. There is only one thing that I can do at this moment in time: accept the pain in the present moment, learn from it, get back into the batter’s box, and be more prepared for the next pitch. God very easily might throw me an even deadlier curveball with the next pitch, but I am certainly more prepared to handle that after going through the struggles of the last few weeks.
My heart has undoubtedly learned that it is God’s will, not mine, that matters in this world! If it is God’s will that I return healthily to the Finca in December or January to continue living with my Honduran people, Thy will be done! If God throws me another curveball along the way that drastically impacts my long-term plans, Thy will be done!
Catch me in the batter’s box here in KCMO, ready for the curveball, ready for the fastball, ready for the changeup. The goal remains the same: depend more on God! In baseball context, that has to be hitting a home run, right?! In the meantime, there certainly has to be worse things in life than eating a steak dinner with your family and playing cards at night while drinking a Moscow Mule! Tengo que amar a la persona que está en frente de mi!
Please pray for our five new missionaries that are currently studying in Guatemala!
Please let me know how I can pray for you!
God Bless!